今昔無憂

1900 Nineteen Hundred:   All that city. You just couldn't see the end to it. The end? Please? You please just show me where it ends? It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too, in my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed. There was no problem. It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn't see. You understand that? What I didn't see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. There was no end. What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end. The end of the world... Take a piano. The keys begin, the keys end. You know there are eighty-eight of them, nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You are infinite. And on these keys the music that you can make is infinite. I like that. That I can live by. You get me up on that gangway and you're rolling out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end, and that'...

闭上眼睛的话，你会想到些什么？ 我多么希望那会是一片空白的情景。 人的眼睛为什么会看得见？ 人的身体每一个部分都很神奇，尤其是眼睛。 世界的纷纷扰扰都尽看在内，看不见的还可以听、可以嗅、可以说、可以触。（当然，反之亦然） 我不是政治狂热分子，可是现下的政治状况真的十分影响我的思绪。 我发现自己情绪因而十分激动，想破坏什么来发泄一顿 。 我不是权势名利奴隶，却为自己无权无势无名无利而心有不甘。 我很在意自己为什么不能拥有那最好的物质，为什么不能万人景仰。 我不是没有爱情就不能活，然而没有爱情可依靠与炫耀让我沮丧。 我察觉自己要的不是伴侣而是玩偶，能让我在空闲时尽情玩弄的人偶。 贪念，深深的贪念在脑中扎根 我要政治清廉， 我要数不尽的钱财， 我要流芳百世， 我要指挥世人， 我要每天做爱， 我要更多更多更多！ 贪心取代了真心，我是不是应该为自己的欲望感到羞耻？ 我不喜欢那样的我。被欲望、情绪、暴力操控的我是一条碍眼的俎虫。 但是贪心在蠢蠢欲动，我多么盼望有人来按住我，按住那个快要被世界腐坏同化的心。 闭上眼睛，我看见的全是自己的欲望。 我想见你。但是我更害怕见你。 你是我欲望之泉。我会把你给生吞的。 可是或许你能解救我。 你会告诉我，我几乎就要跪地渴求的物质其实只是梦幻一场；你会说，我们很快就可以回去真实世界，在那里所有的东西都是真实，连虚假也是真实，所以我们不需要再猜度人心，我们会很幸福平静地生活在那里。 又或者这样吧！我们一起堕落，怎么样？