我們這種人

1900 Nineteen Hundred: 

All that city. You just couldn't see the end to it. The end? Please? You please just show me where it ends? It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too, in my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed. There was no problem. It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn't see. You understand that? What I didn't see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. There was no end. What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end. The end of the world...
Take a piano. The keys begin, the keys end. You know there are eighty-eight of them, nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You are infinite. And on these keys the music that you can make is infinite. I like that. That I can live by.
You get me up on that gangway and you're rolling out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end, and that's the truth, Max. That they never end. That keyboard is infinite. And if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play. You're sitting on the wrong bench. That's God's piano.
Christ! Did, did you see the streets? Just the streets… There were thousands of them! And how do you do it down there? How do you choose just one? One woman, one house, one piece of land to call your own, one landscape to look at, one way to die...
All that world is weighing down on me, you don't even know where it comes to an end, and aren't you ever just scared of breaking apart at the thought of it? The enormity of living it?
I was born on this ship, and the world passed me by, but two thousand people at a time. And there were wishes here, but never more than fit between prow and stern. You played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite. I learned to live that way.
Land? Land is a ship too big for me. It's a woman too beautiful; it's a voyage too long, a perfume too strong. It's a music I don't know how to make. I could never get off this ship. At best, I can step off my life. After all, I don't exist for anyone. You're an exception, Max, you're the only one who knows I'm here. You're a minority, and you better get used to it. Forgive me, my friend, but I'm not getting off.

以上獨白是電影《海上鋼琴師》男主角1900的經典獨白。

以前，還在學院的時候，一次的演繹獨白考試中，選了這段獨白。

當時候只是隨便在網上找到這段獨白，知道是來自一部名為《海上鋼琴師》電影的獨白，但是沒有看過這部電影就跑去念這段獨白，其實真的很不明所以。

那時候念的是中文版，翻譯得挺文學的，念起來還蠻不舒暢的。而且只單憑字面的意義去詮釋裡面的情感，說真的，當時候演繹這段獨白時，很勉強。

真正看過電影后，更加發現當時候的演繹簡直是太幼稚了。

可是，現在能好好地詮釋這段獨白了嗎？

我不知道。

做了一個夢。夢裡，接到一通電話。

聽見一個許久沒有聽到的聲音。

正在驚訝着那個人居然會打電話給我時，他說他要來找我，叫我在原地乖乖不要動。

真的就乖乖不動在那裡。等他。

等了很久，他沒有來。

在夢裡不耐煩，卻沒有離去。

一直等。

然後，夢醒了。

周公夢蝶的故事，總是讓我幻想現在的我是夢裡的我的夢。

所以，現在所有的孤寂不過是一場夢。

可是，夢醒了，情感卻繼續中。

我很想知道夢裡的我到底有沒有等到那個人，上網找解夢，該怎麼說夢見的事？

哦？有一個選擇：舊未見面的人。

Click進去，夢意：很快就會與此人相見。

放屁！ 關了。

多麼羨慕1900。

他多麼清楚自己要的是什麼。

然後堅持着，到死為止。

最感動的是有人知道他要死了。所以，鍥而不捨地要把他找回來。

最美麗的是Max成全了他的死。

別責備我對死亡過分迷戀。

如果對未知的未來都可以滿懷希望，那麼對未知的死亡有什麼好懼怕？

在決定活還是死時，我選擇了活。

這是否是明智的決定，我們可不能蓋章定論。因為我們只聽過活人的意見，沒知道死人的見解。

那些不懂選擇的事情，為什麼就不可以不選擇？

1900讓我知道我可以不選擇。

恐怖呢…… 我這種人不可以隨便亂看電影。

也不可以亂做夢，不可以亂愛人，不可以亂說話，不可以亂做事，不可以亂。

可是我本來就很亂啊！

叫亂，不要亂？是不是太勉強了？

像那次演繹，不自然。

然而，無論多亂，卻清晰地看見你的臉孔，聽見你的聲音，感受到你冰冷的手……跟我一樣。

我知道我是誰嗎？

我不知道。

你知道你是誰嗎？

我知道。

這就是存在過的證明。